What a bleeding disgrace.

Sometimes I wonder which is more of a disgrace to Malaysia – the god-forsaken BN regime or those millions of Malaysians who continue to tolerate and even support this gang of crooks and incompetents.

That Najib Abdul Razak is still prime minister of the country, and some people are still taking him and his alleged ‘government’ seriously, is absolutely pathetic.

Yet I see that even many of his detractors have deluded themselves that his cynical PR stunt of coming “down to the streets” to visit the homeless in KL is some sign that he has redeeming features.

When the reality of the matter is that it was clearly Najib and his cabinet who decided to celebrate Ramadan by deputising Federal Territories Minister Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor and Women, Family and Community Development Minister Rohani Abdul Karim to rid the city centre of the homeless and the soup kitchens that have been serving them.

So Najib’s walking-tour of the poor was his or his advisors’ way of shedding personal responsibility for this callous act, and pretending to show some of the “leadership” he’d been flapping his lips about just the day before.

Seizing on Brazil’s shocking 7-1 defeat by Germany in the World Cup semi-final, and conveniently ignoring the embarrassing facts that Malaysia not only failed to get a place in the World Cup at all but also ranks a woeful 142nd on the Fifa world table, he had the effrontery to use Brazil’s loss to try and praise his own leadership.

“If that can happen to a football team,” he crowed, “imagine what can happen to a country without leadership, vision and a commitment to the rakyat’s fate.”

But his referring to the rakyat’s “fate” rather than its future rather gave the game away in typical Najib Freudian-slip-style, thus reminding many if not most of us that, far from being famous for his fabulous leadership, Najib is notorious for his fatal bleedership.

He and the other members of his BN regime have blood on their hands as accessories to, if not actual suspects in, countless killings ranging from those of Altantuya Shaariibuu, the Mongolian interpreter in the scandalous acquisition of Scorpene submarines and Teoh Beng Hock, whose death at the hands of the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) was deemed “neither murder nor suicide”, to hundreds of “suspects” in police custody and “shoot-outs”.

Then there is the blood of the police personnel killed in BN’s bungled response to the Lahud Datu so-called “incursion”, and the 239 passengers and crew “lost” three months or so ago through the Malaysian defence forces’ dereliction of their duty.

And even more bloodshed is regularly threatened. As opposition elder-statesman Lim Kit Siang said in response to Najib’s ludicrous “leadership” speech, “in the past year there has been an incessant stoking and incitement of racial and religious hatred, tension and conflict in the country,” with Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin reported by rabble-rousing regime rag Utusan Malaysia to be the latest to threaten a repeat of the Umno-incited May 13, 1969 massacre of non-Malays.

While Najib does his damndest to try and distance himself from the race-hate that he and his regime so tirelessly foment, he has himself in the past notoriously threatened to “bathe (this) keris in Chinese blood”, advocated BN’s violent defence of its hold on power, if necessary, with the statement that “even if our bodies are crushed and our lives lost, brothers and sisters, whatever happens, we must defend Putrajaya” and just recently called for BN to “emulate the bravery” of the Middle-Eastern, al-Qaeda-related terrorist group ISIL if the party is to survive.

As shocking as Najib’s bleedership has been and continues to be in the literal, deadly sense, however, it is proving similarly fatal to Malaysia metaphorically.

Moneywise, for a start, despite long ago claiming to advocate “zero tolerance of corruption”, Najib has sustained the Mahathir-instigated system of BN’s bleeding of Malaysia and Malaysians of countless billions in stolen oil, timber, land and other nationally-owned natural resources, and massive sums of public money in kickbacks, “commissions” and outright theft.

Having taken the precaution, as was begun under Mahathir’s 22-year bleedership of the nation, to suck the life-blood out of the justice system, the news media, the election commission and every other institution designed to protect the people from bloodsuckers like BN and its cronies, and threaten these criminals with retribution.

Though some measure of retribution may well be on its way from governments and other aggrieved parties outside Malaysia, or even eventually the International Criminal Court, following a series of shocking examples of BN bleedership including the MH370 fiasco, the failure to extradite burglary and attempted rape suspect Muhammad Rizalman Ismail to New Zealand, plagiarism of Indonesian press stories by national ‘news’ agency Bernama and BN MP Bung Moktar Radin’s disgraceful “Long live Hitler” tweet following Germany’s World-Cup demolition of Brazil.

All this on top of the steady bleeding of Malaysia’s reputation over the years if not decades through the repeated high-profile persecutions of Anwar Ibrahim, and the nation’s steady and apparently inexorable descent on global corruption, press freedom, illicit capital outflow, people-trafficking, football match fixing, internet scamming, education and university excellence rankings.

And all the bleeding prime minister can think of doing about all this is to persist in his bid for the title of World’s Leading Liar. In fact, far from leading the government or the nation in any meaningful manner at all, he hides in silence whenever there’s trouble, only emerging to talk a load of trash about such issues as kankung economics or panda ‘protection’, or else to do a spot of leadershopping for votes or 1RM chickens.

Never giving so much as a thought, apparently, to acting like a leader and firing any of his ministers, especially his cretinous cousin and current Defence Minister, Hishammuddin Hussein, for even their most spectacular demonstrations of criminal incompetence.

Of course I’m all too aware that I’m stating the bleeding obvious here in Malaysiakini, as indeed I have been for the past eight years, and also preaching more to the converted than the perverted.

But I’m vastly encouraged by the evident fact that the miserably silent majority seems to be getting smaller by the year, month, week and even in these increasingly troubled times, the day.

And thus we’re edging ever closer to that glorious moment when enough Malaysians and the forces of righteousness around the world will finally unite in sufficient disgust with the BN regime to finally kick these bleeders out.


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Fixing 1Malaysia.

Forget the World Cup. It’s so much more exciting to follow the fortunes of BN’s 1Malaysia team in its bid for the world title of Worst Cock-up.

It has certainly scored some major coups in this competition lately, even in the footballing field. Under the leadership of Sports Minister Khairy Jamaluddin, Malaysia has now sunk to an unprecedented number 142 in global FIFA rankings and is fast headed further down.

While at the same time it is truly 1Malaysia in the contest for supremacy in the match-fixing area, with Free Malaysia Today quoting one of the world’s foremost experts in this arena, Canadian author and academic Declan Hill, as declaring that “if there was a gold medal for football match fixing, Malaysia would win it.”

“As I have testified before various parliaments,” he added, “we have to tell the IOC that if Malaysia doesn’t clean up this problem, they will be banned from international sports.”

I doubt that BN would be too fussed by such a ban, however, as it could then concentrate its world-beating efforts on other more serious aspects of its expertise, like election and trial fixing. Plus, of course, the race to the bottom in the global corruption, press-freedom and people-trafficking stakes, in the last of which it has recently achieved level 4 on the US State Department worst-of-the-worst list along with such other great sports as Zimbabwe, North Korea and Saudi Arabia.

And speaking of Saudi Arabia, 1Malaysia has already outdone this and most of its other competitors in the Islamic world by banning Christians from using “Allah”, the generic Arab word for “God”, in Bahasa Malaysia bibles.

Having decades ago decreed that all Malays are by definition Muslim, and thus since claiming that 1Malaysia is superior to those nations where most Arabs may be Muslims but some are permitted not to be.

But as much success and consequent fame as 1Malaysia has achieved on the sporting, fixing, people-trafficking and religious fronts, its most glorious, indeed unprecedented achievement in the world’s Worst Cock-up department so far has surely been the “loss” of MAS flight 370.

This was, and will long if not forever remembered as, a copybook example of the 1Malaysia team’s undying determination to make itself globally famous by hook or by crook, and a truly world-class display of BN’s traditional talents: secrecy, lying, denying, dissembling and incompetence.

And in case anybody on earth had missed this truly dazzling demonstration of 1Malaysia’s specialist skills, 1Malaysia Foreign Minister Anifah Aman has led the team to another triumph in a face-off with New Zealand.

Admittedly this has been a 1-0 loss in purely technical terms, but it has featured such a spectacular own goal as to go down forever in the annals of the world’s Worst Cock-up contest.

Following allegations of burglary and attempted rape against Muhammad Rizalman Ismail, an army warrant officer attached to the Malaysian High Commission in New Zealand, 1Malaysia not only denied a request by the host country for the suspension of the suspect’s diplomatic immunity, but had the unmitigated arrogance to suggest that the case be hushed up.

And actually put this in writing to the New Zealand authorities in a letter requesting them to “kindly consider sealing all documentation pertaining to the above mentioned matter and withdrawing all charges against Muhammad Rizalman Ismail.”

The New Zealand government may well not have elected to release this damning document of its own accord, but was virtually forced to do so following the 1Malaysia Foreign Minister’s flagrantly false claim that the Kiwis had “offered” to allow Muhammad Rizalman Ismail to return home despite his alleged offence.

Rizalman had been repatriated, so the 1Malaysia story went, for the purpose of undergoing “psychiatric assessment” before a possible military court-martial.

Though as everybody knows the entire saga would never have seen the light of day in 1Malaysia, and probably hasn’t even now in 1Malaysia’s so-called mainstream media, if it hadn’t been for the New Zealand media’s unearthing of it by means of their country’s Freedom of Information Act.

And in fact the revelation of this latest own goal against New Zealand is eerily reminiscent of the one scored years ago against Mongolia in the case of the murdered interpreter, Altantuya Shaariibuu.

An own goal that still haunts Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak and the entire 1Malaysia team today, despite Najib’s having sworn on the Quran than he never met the victim, and a “trial” in which the alleged suspects were unaccountably allowed to conceal their identities, Najib and other possible accessories were never called as witnesses, and no effort was made to determine how the victim’s immigration records had come to be erased.

For years Najib himself has been promising to fix as in “transform” this shocking state of affairs, but still his 1Malaysia team keeps playing the people of Malaysia and the rest of the world for fools.

Fixing everything from elections and trials to financial, racial and religious affairs in favour of themselves and their supporters.

And fixing the facts with a line-up of such world-class liars like, to instance only this week, Foreign Minister Anifah Aman with his porkies about New Zealand, Inspector-General of Police Khalid Abu Bakar with his ridiculous claim that his corrupt, homicidal and otherwise “errant” cops are “not protected”; Women, Family and Community Developmet Minister Rohani Abdul Karim with her story that the government is not “arresting” beggars and the homeless in KL but “saving” them by taking them in for “counselling”; and former Information Minister, Zainuddin Maidin with his bizarre attack on BN harlot ‘newspaper’ The Star for “playing into the hands of the DAP” as well as an “extreme and dangerous Christian denomination.”

No wonder 1Malaysia is a contender contention for the title for the World Cup of Cock-ups. And good, honest, intelligent Malaysians’ chances of getting out of this fix are nix until they can get up the guts to get rid of this bunch of criminal prix.

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Week of the k, ok?

Forgive me if you kan, but this week, just by way of a komplete change from my kustomary kolumn, I thought I would follow Prime Minister Najib – oops, Knajib Abdul Razak’s lead and go overboard with the letter k the point of overkill.

As Knajib himself so memorably did in his address at the Cheras Umno division’s 20th anniversary celebrations, in proposing a ‘6K’ formula to ensure that Umno remains what he kalled “strong and relevant”: Ketaatan (Obedience), Kesetiaan (Loyalty), Keberanian (Bravery), Kesetiakawan (Unity), Kebijaksanaan (Excellence) and Keikhlasan (Sincerity).

This was such a load of kock that I couldn’t resist rushing to my trusty Pelanduk Pocket Malay Dictionary for some Bahasa k words that would somewhat more truthfully deskribe the formula that Umno aktually employs to keep itself in a position of illicit power and publik plunder.

But no sooner than I had kompiled a kollection inkluding such Umno-appropriate k terms as korrupsi, kecuiran, khianat, karut, khilaf, kotor, kuman and kutu, I realized that I was out of my linguistik depth and should konfine myself to English.

But not so much to what is often known as the King’s English, as to a kind of Kinglish, in which the phonetic employment of the letter k would make this kolumn, as you have already observed that it so successfully does, as stupid-looking as its topik deserves.

Kommencing with the observation that Knajib’s typikally dumb and deceptive ‘6K’ formula was overshadowed by this kriminal konman’s dangerously idiotik kall for Umno to “emulate the bravery” of the Middle-Eastern, al-Qaeda-related terrorist group ISIL if the party is to survive.

Citing the ‘success’ so far of ISIL in destablising Iraq in the face of overwhelming odds, Knajib added that “when someone dares to fight to their death, they can even defeat a much bigger team.”

Admittedly Knajib’s own insanely-overstaffed prime minister’s department issued a statement the day after his ISIL remarks alleging that his words had “been taken out of kontext.”

“ISIL was mentioned briefly and in passing, but it is important to note that the prime minister in no way indicated any support for ISIL,” the statement klaimed, adding that “the Malaysian government classifies ISIL as a terrorist organization and are (sic, or rather sik) doing our part to combat them (sik again), for example by arresting suspected ISIL members in Malaysia.”

But the fakt remains that he made this incendiary statement, and thus the question remains what odds was this krooked kook thus trying to imply that Umno faces? These korrupt and kowardly krooks, in kahoots with their kraven koalition partners in Barisan Nasional, have kontrolled Malaysia for decades by employing their overwhelming numerikal domination of every aspect of Malaysian life.

They’ve skewed the nation’s konstitution in their favour, ko-opted the police, judiciary, elektion kommission, mainstream media, edukation system and other civil services so komprehensively in their support that they kan do whatever they like and get away with it.

So this “poor little embattled Umno” akt, along with the simultaneous “defender of the embattled Islamik religion and Malay race” skam by the nation’s overlords to try and portray themselves as underdogs, is just one more disgraceful element in their shameful misrule of Malaysia.

As is Knajib’s recent kosmetic addition of MCA and Gerakan kronies to what even he koncedes is an already hopelessly bloated cabinet.

A kabinet that is klearly as both unwilling and inkapable as Knajib himself of stopping the rot that is killing Malaysia.

Witness the nation’s steady and apparently inexorable descent on every known international index, from korruption, press freedom and university excellence rankings to klassification with the lowest of the low in the massive illicit capital outflow and people-trafficking departments.

Umno’s Malaysia is not performing too well on the domestik terrorism front, either, despite Knajib’s extremely unkonvincing disklaimer concerning ISIL, as the ruling regime not just kondones but actually supports (with public money, naturally) such organisations as Perkasa, whose information chief, Ruslan Kassim, recently threatened to chop off the heads of those “parasites” who ridikule Islam and the Sultan of Selangor.

Of kourse this kreep denied any such kriminal incitement, klaiming, Knajib style, that his kall for killing was “just a figure of speech.”

What he aktually intended, he now klaims, was to advokate the “killing” of the politikal kareers of four opposition parliamentarians who had kalled for Selangor to limit the powers of the Selangor Islamic Affairs Council, or rather Kouncil (Mais).

“I didn’t mean to say ‘pancung’ (chop) heads, but to ‘pancung’ them politically,” he was quoted as attempting to explain. “But the political part didn’t come out and I accidentally said ‘pancung leher’ (chop necks),” he went on, adding that “we are not sharpening our machetes. We love peace and harmony.”

Meanwhile, having delivered himself of his “6K formula” and “emulate ISIL” speech, Knajib was once again busy using the recently-arrived pair of pandas to pander to public opinion of himself as warm and kuddly rather than the kold-bloooded kriminal he actually is, claiming that the RM25 million cost of the so-called Panda Konservation Centre at Zoo Negara is a “very reasonable expenditure in view of the booming trade between Malaysia and China.”

But of course, as everyone knows or at least strongly suspekts, the pandas originally named Fu Wa and Feng Yi and now, following an expensive public kontest, re-named Xing Xing (prosperity) and Liang Liang (pretty) for the duration of their 10-year stay in Malaysia, are aktually part of some murky deal done with China relating to Malaysia’s ‘loss’ of MAS flight MH370 with over 100 Chinese citizens aboard.

A thought that brings me to the observation that there was little or no fuss when dozens of trafficked Indonesian “illegals” were drowned off Malaysian shores recently, and thus Jakarta seems unlikely to respond to this “loss” of its citizens by presenting Zoo Negara with a pair of komodo dragons.

Or, for that matter, by calling for Malaysia to prosekute the people-smuggler(s) involved, as the entire disaster was obviously enabled by corrupt immigration and other authorities on both sides.

But, thank goodness, that’s enough from me for now in this special k week, as my word kount is just about up, and in any kase Umno will have disgraced yet another letter of the alphabet, banned yet another word or committed some even krappier krime by this time next week, and so k can be let off for some well-deserved lepak.


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A state of total chaos.

This is terrific! In all my years of watching the BN regime strive to maintain a balance between its twin characteristics of criminality and incompetence, I’ve never before seen it or the nation it’s been running, or rather ruining, in such a shambles.

Some, I see, blame it on the current alleged Prime Minister, Najib Abdul Razak. Or perhaps I should make that absentee Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak, considering he has deigned to turn up to about one parliamentary sitting in 10 during his tenure. Apparently preferring to jet around the world with his shopaholic spouse and an entourage of other assorted freeloaders, only returning from time to time to make stupid, deceitful speeches on fraudulent themes like “building the world’s best democracy”, “zero tolerance of corruption” and “national unity”, plus other vital topics like the price of kangkung, sales on RM1 chickens and 10-minute boiled eggs.

Though admittedly it looks as though he intends to be in town for a while now, as he’s selectively suing Malaysiakini and a few of its editors and subscribers for making the kind of critical remarks about him that millions of the rest of us have been doing ever since he was elevated to his current eminence.

But to my mind Najib’s not entirely to blame for the monstrous mess that Malaysia is in. In fact even more responsible than Najib himself, as far as I’m concerned, are the Umno so-called ‘warlords’, or more accurately whorelords, who participated in the ‘money politics’ process that elected him president of their party, and thus prime minister, in the first place.

Choosing a person with the kind of baggage Najib was carrying from his stint as defence minister – strong suspicion if not outright common knowledge of involvement in the RM500 million Scorpene submarines ‘commission’ scandal that culminated in the murder of the interpreter in that dirty deal, Altantuya Shaariibuu, not to mention any of his lesser misdeeds – was an outrage to propriety and an insult to every Malaysian.

And many of the same Umno big-noters that were guilty of installing Najib in his ill-deserved leadership of the country have since been every bit as instrumental as he has in making the monumental mess that Malaysia finds itself in today.

In the past in times of self-inflicted turmoil, or at least for the past 15 years, Umno/BN has routinely diverted public attention from its corruption and criminal incompetence by pinning a sodomy rap on its most prominent opponent, Anwar Ibrahim. But he’s about to be sent back to jail again, as far as I know, and in any case Umno/BN’s role in what “acting” Transport Minister and actual Defence Minister Hishammuddin Hussein himself tirelessly advertises as the “unprecedented” loss of MAS flight MH370 has sent the powers that be into such an unprecedented panic that even more spectacular feats of diversion are called for than usual.

Thus, in its desperation, and for want of any better idea, like coming clean for a change and even going straight at least until the uproar dies down, the regime has been rallying its pack of racist and religionist prostitutes to try and perpetuate its fraudulent pose as ‘defender’ of the Islamic faith and Malay race.

As part of this project, its inspector-general of police (IGP) has refused to obey a court order requiring a Muslim father to return his non-Muslim daughter to his former wife. The Selangor Islamic department (Jais) has similarly defied a court instruction to return hundreds of Christian bibles it long ago illegally ‘confiscated’. And of course various Umno operatives have again started denying that Malaysia is a secular state.

Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Jamil Khir Baharom has declared that Malaysia is “not a secular state” on the grounds that there is “no provision for it in the federal constitution,” in the process citing a 2012 statement by former Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, Nazri Abdul Aziz, that ‘based on the (Supreme Court) case of Che Omar bin Che Soh, it is clear that Malaysia never decided to be a secular state.” And Dewan Rakyat speaker Pandikar Amin Mulia has since ruled likewise, though only, he claims, for parliamentary purposes.

I’m no constitutional expert, but whether or not Malaysia is supposed to be a secular state, the ever-ruling regime has so comprehensively subverted and perverted it into some poisonous alternative entity that could aptly characterized as a sectular state. Sectarian divisionism is the order of the day, with Umno’s partisan dominance of Barisan Nasional reflected in its creation and sectarian bias in every facet of government, the civil services and Malaysian society at large.

In fact the Umno/BN regime’s running or rather ruining of the country is so far from honestly and straight-forwardly secular that it would be no exaggeration whatever to call it outright sickular. Replete as it is with stomach-churning levels of crime and injustice, ranging from such nauseating atrocities as the still ‘unsolved’ assassination of Altantuya Shaariibuu and the ‘neither murder nor suicide’ of Teoh Beng Hock at the hands of the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) to hundreds of homicides in police ‘shoot-outs’ and custody.

And when it comes to how it handles the Malaysian people’s money, the BN regime is so ultra-secular it is nothing short of suckular, so greedily do its members and cronies slurp-up countless billions of ringgit in ‘commissions’ on purchases and projects, wholesale ‘leakages’ of public funds and sheer daylight robbery, as perennially revealed by not only Malaysia’s only free news media, online portals like Malaysiakini, but by the regime’s own auditor-general’s report.

In short, the Umno/BN regime may not be convinced that the Malaysian state is secular, but appears quite content, if not outright delighted and determined to keep it self-interestedly sectular, sexular, sickular and suckular.

All of which terms, as most readers will have noted for themselves by now, contain the word ‘ular’. And highly appropriately so, considering the venomous, forked-tongued fashion in which the vipers of Umno/BN routinely ‘explain’ their serpentine moves.

As exemplified by Home Minister Ahmad Zahid Hamidi during the recent Teluk Intan buy-election when he called the Chinese “ingrates” for voting for the DAP, by Shahrizat Abdul Jalil with her ridiculous claim that “BN doesn’t play racial politics,” and by Umno’s own ‘newspaper’, Utusan Malaysia, in its declaration that “insulting Umno is tantamount to insulting Malays and Islam.”

No wonder the country is in such an unholy mess, and that those responsible for its shocking state are so hellishly afraid of what would happen to them under a secular system complete with proper separation of powers, an honest-to-God independent judiciary, free and fair elections and genuine news media.

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Malaysia on the radar.

While my wife and I were having a coffee this morning at Marrickville Metro, a suburban Sydney shopping centre, we were delighted to hear that the spirited conversation the five guys at the next table were having was about, of all topics, Malaysia.

Or, more specifically, the mystery ‘disappearance’ of MAS flight MH370. Just one more sign, as if we needed one, that the Barisan Nasional regime has finally succeeded in putting Malaysia on the world map, or rather the global radar.

And in a far from positive way. In fact in the polar opposite sense of that intended by former Prime Minister Dr Mahathir Mohamad back when he was perennially attempting to peddle his pathologically lying proposition that Malaysia was the ‘envy of the world.’

When in fact most of the world had never even heard of Malaysia, as utterly insignificant as it was then in any aspect whatever of the international scene as a result of unending rule by the corrupt and outright criminal nonentities of the BN regime.

And for the same reason is still virtually invisible in the global arena today from an economic, political, educational or any other meaningful point of view. But now Malaysia has become famous, or rather infamous, for precisely what has so long rendered it so irrelevant and impotent internationally, and so financially, intellectually, morally and spiritually impoverished internally: BN’s trademark combination of criminality, incompetence, secrecy and deception.

Not to mention callousness, as the BN regime clearly couldn’t give a damn about the mental suffering of the relatives and friends of those aboard flight MH370, let alone the ‘lost’ passengers and crew themselves. According to Time magazine, despite the BN-style ‘promise’ by ‘acting’ Transport Minister and actual Defence Minister Hishammuddin Hussein that no effort or resources would be spared in finding flight MH370 and its occupants, Malaysia has thus far devoted a mere US$8.6 million to its search effort, compared with US$43 million thus far spent by Australia, and countless millions more by the other 20 or so countries involved.

In fact BN’s financial focus seems to be, as it has all along, on not so much finding MH370 and discovering whether its 239 passengers and crew are alive or dead, as on the prospect of making a killing for itself and selected cronies on an expensive upgrade of Malaysia’s current defence radar system or the purchase of a new one.

Hishammuddin Hussein first mooted this, as I recall, just a week or two after the aircraft unaccountably vanished on his watch as defence minister, and now the chief of the Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF), General Rodzali Daud, has urgently called for the allocation of funds for this purpose.

Never mind that Hishammuddin and Rodzali should long ago have resigned or been fired for dereliction of their duties, or that, as many besides me have suggested, the radar problem could be solved with a RM20 alarm clock or similar device to ensure that in future the operators aren’t having a kip when their screens show a blip, as they almost certainly were when MH370 went on its mystery trip.

Speaking of which, Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak recently jetted-off on what many of us consider a highly-suspicious trip to Beijing, where he cosied-up to the potentates of the ‘People’s’ Republic but entirely gave the cold shoulder to the grieving friends and relatives of Chinese passengers aboard MH370, then came back flapping his lips about having been treated as such an important personage that his hosts boiled his eggs for 10-minutes out of concern for his safety.

When Najib’s typically nit-witted and self-aggrandising “eggs” story appeared in Malaysiakini, lots of wags predictably wondered whether he was referring to the eggs he was served for breakfast or the ones between his legs. But as he hasn’t yet threatened to sue these jokers or any Malaysiakini editors over this, as he has over some previous japes at his expense, I assume that in this case he doesn’t care two figs.

Just as long as the Malaysian people’s attention is diverted from the true purpose of his China visit, which was likely much more about begging than egging, and Najib clearly welcomes any diversion of attention from his and his accomplices’ grubby doings.

Like the racial and sectarian division and dissension BN tirelessly promotes through such allegedly ‘non-government’ organisations like Perkasa and Isma, rabble-rousing fake ‘newspapers’ like Utusan Malaysia and other trashy ‘mainstream’ media, and compliant ‘religious’ authorities that seize bibles, snatch bodies, disrupt weddings and in countless other ways contrive to play merry hell with social harmony, all for the blatantly obvious purpose of pursuing its policy of ‘divide and rule’.

But the wider world is not so easy to fool. And now that the BN regime has put Malaysia on the global radar screen for all the wrong reasons, the international community is not about to stop crying foul. Even if other governments are in cahoots with Malaysia’s, as suggested by conspiracy theories ranging from US diversion of MH370 to Diego Garcia to a plot by China or some other country to hijack the aircraft or even shoot it down, there’s no chance that the scandal will disappear.

As instanced by the campaign recently launched on the Indiegogo site by relatives of passengers from the USA, India, Australia, New Zealand and France ‘lost’ aboard flight MH370 to fund a sufficient reward to tempt a whistleblower to emerge with some or all of the real story, many people will stop at nothing to uncover the truth and achieve justice.

There are a great many such people in Malaysia, and I’m proud to know some of them personally. But unfortunately there are also still millions of Malaysians who apparently couldn’t care less about anything but their self-perceived personal interests, and are thus as nonchalant about the diversion and disappearance of MH370 as they are of BN’s diversion of Malaysia from its rightful course as a nation and the disappearance of its riches into the secret bank accounts of BN members and cronies.

But maybe more of these people who have previously not bothered to register to vote, or publicly protest, or otherwise behave like anything but helpless passengers on their country’s one-way trip to disaster with BN at the controls, might be finally galvanized into action now that Malaysia and its rotten robber regime are up there on the global radar, and there to stay until the NFC cows come home, and Najib’s RM1 chickens come home to roost.

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Pings, pongs and pandas.

I can’t say I was surprised to hear the admission by US and Australian authorities that the electronic “pings” they assumed were coming from the black box of missing flight MH370 in the southern Indian Ocean have proven to be red herrings.

The allegedly mysterious disappearance of the Boeing 777 and its 239 passengers and crew two months ago has been deeply fishy from the very start.

First and foremost, of course, because anything whatever involving Malaysia’s criminal BN regime inevitably involves corruption, deception, incompetence or a complex mix of all three of these curses, and thus stinks to high heaven.

And then there’s the fact that the government with more of its citizens aboard MH370 than any other, the so-called “People’s” Republic of China, is even more on the nose, if possible, than the Malaysian regime.

It was the PRC, as we all well recall, that in 1989 notoriously employed its laughably-titled “People’s Liberation” Army to slaughter countless people peacefully calling for their political liberation in Tiananmen Square.

And it is the same, utterly unrepentant “People’s” Republic of China government that alone enables the atrocious Kim dynasty to keep the people of North Korea in its death-grip; and that, in concert with Putin’s neo-Stalinist Russia, constantly vetoes and otherwise thwarts United Nations efforts to save people from the depredations of corrupt, kleptocratic and murderous despots in Syria and elsewhere.

So it seems highly suspicious to me that just as the US and Australia announce that they have been ding-a-lings to be misled by what they believed were black-box pings, and thus all the waiting, watching world is left with is the pong of the BN regime’s MH370 wrongs, the Chinese and Malaysian regimes are happily playing diplomatic ping-pong.

If China’s initial outrage at Malaysia’s slow, confused, incompetent and comprehensively lying response to the disappearance of MH370 was genuine, it seems surpassingly strange that all has been so quickly forgiven and forgotten that Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak has been welcomed on a state visit to Beijing, and China has simultaneously sent a pair of its precious giant pandas to Malaysia.

It’s tempting to see these moves as not so much an outbreak of unaccountably sudden China-Malaysia friendship despite the ongoing MH370 fiasco, as a conspiracy of fiendship designed to cover up some deep-dark.

Why else would the PRC deliver a pair of pandas into the care of a Malaysian regime that has not only carelessly “lost” well over a hundred Chinese citizens, but also has an appalling record of deaths in its agencies’ custody, and a disgraceful history of demonizing and demeaning its own citizens of Chinese descent.

And why, for its part, would Malaysia’s BN regime indulge in an exercise so rich in self-destructive symbolism as to play host to a pair of pandas?

Surely I was just one of countless government critics whose first thought the other day on seeing pictures of Najib, Hishammuddin Hussein and sundry BN accomplices on a visit to the panda enclosure was that this guilty group rather than the innocent animals should by rights have been behind bars.

Similarly, I must have been only one of many who couldn’t help wondering whether, as long as Feng Yi and Fu Wa are supposed to be in quarantine, it might be a threat to their health to allow them to be visited there by a bunch of BN government and media germs.

And of course the pandas’ cute black eyes were, and will continue to be, a vivid reminder of what happened to Anwar Ibrahim during his first term in BN custody. While the very word “panda” inevitably evoked the painfully obvious punning perception that the BN regime ceaselessly contrives to cling to power by pandering to its members’ and supporters’ lowest lusts, greeds, ignorances and racial and religious prejudices.

Such typical pandering being everywhere evident in the campaign for the Teluk Intan by/buy-election, with Umno Wanita chief Shahrizat Abdul Jalil pandering to the sectarianism that the regime works tirelessly to foment through the agency of fake “NGOs” like Perkasa and “newspapers” like Utusan Malaysia by calling DAP candidate Dyana Sofya Mohd Daud a “traitor” to her race and religion, and Home Minister Ahmad Zahid Hamidi damning Chinese and Indians who fail to support the BN regime as “ingrates”.

This followed Hamidi’s not just pandering to the already inflated sense of self-importance of Rela members by promising them new uniforms and a RM1 million “constituency allocation” in the event of a regime victory, but also going so far as to threaten them with dire if unspecified consequences if they failed to help BN win Teluk Intan.

“Don’t play with me. I know who has voted and didn’t vote,” he ranted, in reference to the 2,000 of 8,000 Rela members who he claimed had failed to cast ballots in last year’s general election, “so this time make sure that BN wins this parliamentary seat. I’m watching over the Pekan Baru ballot boxes.”

This gross abuse of power and blatant breach of the Electoral Act predictably drew a storm of criticism from the opposition and its supporters, at which point Electoral Commission chief Abdul Aziz Mohd Yusof indulged in its customary pandering to his masters in the BN regime by declaring that the home minister’s threats were “mere advice,” and that his promises of new uniforms did not constitute an offence “because Rela is already in the process of changing its uniform.”

So it is clear that, as far as the EC is concerned, BN is as free as ever to keep pandering to Teluk Intan voters with everything from promises of a gazillion-ringgit new highway to “gifts” of hampers and presumably its traditional handouts of petty cash on election day.

Meanwhile, the home minister has claimed that he had been only “joking” when he said that he knew which Rela members had failed to vote in the last general election, before proceeding to pander to the sexism of his audience with the comment that in any event the young, smart and attractive DAP candidate for Teluk Intan, Dyana Sofya Mohd Daud, is “not very pretty, merely photogenic.”

But most Malaysians can clearly see that Dyana is a symbol of Malaysia’s bright future, and that the plug-uglies of BN are the past. And that all the pandas and pandering in the world won’t save them much longer from getting pinged for the pongs surrounding MH370, Altantuya Shaariibuu, Teoh Beng Hock and literally countless other unforgivable wrongs.



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Zunar zaps the zombies.

There are few if any people I admire more than Zulkifly Anwar Haque aka Zunar, who for years has used his cartoons to lampoon the platoons of goons, buffoons and loony-tunes, not to mention the loony-Tuns, who have long been running – and ruining – Malaysia.

He’s a hero in the struggle against the zeros, zanies, zealots, xenophobes and moral and ethical zombies of the zalim Barisan Nasional regime, an inspiration to his fellow critics, and a shining, shaming example to the millions of Malaysians who remain too lazy, dozy, cosy or cowardly to take a stand against these criminals and crazies.

So I’m deeply diszappointed that I won’t be able to make it along to this week’s launch of Zunar’s 20th book of cartoons, “The Conspiracy to Imprison Anwar – Najib Convicts, Judges Follow the Script”.

In fact I’m surprised that Zunar can find the time to attend the launch himself, considering the incredible quantity of BN stink that’s just begging for him to bag with his inimitable pen and ink.

Or, more accurately, his punning pen and ink, as his propensity for word-play is as awe-inspiring as his drawing, and thus one of his pictures is often worth the proverbial 1,000 of my words in portraying the BN hogs at the trough and communicating their every “oink”.

So naturally Zunar is supremely successful at zapping the zoological specimens that pass for ruling-regime politicians and supporters, and just as naturally they have paid him the perverse compliment of trying to zip his lip.

But threats, sedition charges and seizure and banning of his books, far from cowing or silencing Zunar, have only served to inspire him to greater heights, and spur him to award-winning international eminence.

Such eminence that he has even been published by one of the world’s globally-acknowledged great newspapers, the Washington Post. Predictably enough, his March 18 appearance in the Post drew criticism from the online version of one of the world’s most pathetic ‘newspapers’, BN regime mouthpiece The Star, in which some alleged “academician” Mohamed Mustafa Ishak described Zunar’s critical take on Malaysia’s response to the disappearance of MH370 as “insensitive”, “misleading” and “preposterous”.

Three words which, to anyone who has closely followed the MH370 fiasco, would far better describe the BN regime’s bungling of the MH370 affair than of Zunar’s justly-critical cartoon.

And in any event, with all considerable due respect to Zunar, no cartoonist, however talented, could possibly portray the BN regime’s entire attitude to the MH370 tragedy in a more damning light than the gibbering idiot of a so-called “acting transport minister” (and actual defence minister) Hishammuddin Hussein did in his recent, giggly appearance in an ABC Four Corners special, viewable at http://www.abc.net.au/4corners/stories/2014/05/19/4005244.htm

Nor could any cartoonist, even the tireless and indomitable Zunar, possibly hope to comment on more than a small sample of the veritable tsunami of inanities, insanities and iniquities that the BN regime and its accomplices ceaselessly inflicts on Malaysians.

Like this week’s police-unprevented “storming” of the Penang state legislative assembly by members of Umno Youth, Perkasa and the Federation of Peninsula Muslim Students in protest against DAP assemblyperson RSN Rayer’s calling several Umno members to be “celaka” (damned).

While Rayer insisted that he had intended the “celaka” epithet only for those members to whom he had specifically referred, and not (though for the life of me I can’t think why not) Umno members in general, the protesters claimed that the word was an insult to all Malays and Muslims.

Whatever, some members of Umno Youth then upped the ante by threatening to torch DAP headquarters in KL, a move that Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin typically failed in his duty to condemn, instead defending it as “natural”.

“This was just a spontaneous reaction. They feel called to defend the party’s honour when someone calls the party ‘celaka’”, he declared, thus reminding most of us of the fact that Umno’s only “honour” is that proverbially among thieves, and thus that “celaka” is putting it mildly.

Another rich opportunity for Zunar or any other cartoonist this week was the police victimization of R Sri Sanjeevan, chairperson of crime watchdog MyWatch for alleging corruption on the part of the son of a state police chief, who, though unemployed, reportedly has assets including two cars worth RM1.1 million.

Sanjeevan, who was almost fatally shot last July by two thus-far unidentified assailants, promptly had his phone and pendrive confiscated for his anti-corruption pains, and was reportedly warned by Inspector-General of Police (IGP) Khalid Abu Bakar “not to hold the police at (sic) ransom by threatening to expose more police wrongdoings unless they dutifully investigate his (shooting) case.”

As laughable as this was in a gruesome kind of way, however, the most humour-rich recent topic, and the subject for at least one Zunar cartoon, has been the BN-regime response to the DAP’s selection of Dyana Sofya Mohd Daud, a young female Malay-Muslim lawyer whose mother is a member of Umno, as its candidate for the Teluk Intan by-election.

Among the chorus of critics of this move were Wanita Umno chief Shahrizat Abdul Jalil of “Cowgate” infamy, who reportedly called Dyana “a traitor to her race”, and arch-racist Dr Mahathir Mohamad, who professed to be “disappointed” and “unable to digest the fact that DAP is fielding a Malay candidate who hails from a family of long-time Umno supporters.”

But Dayana’s Umno-member mother Yammy Samat, bless her heart, put Mahathir back in his box with the riposte that her daughter had turned out more like his daughter Marina, a social activist whose views often run counter to her father’s.

“I tried teaching her to be like Mukhriz,” she sarcastically stated, referring to the daddy’s boy menteri besar of Kedah and state Umno liaison committee chairperson, “but when she grew up she became like Marina.”

And Marina Mahathir herself took the opportunity to praise Dyana in a Facebook posting as a “smart girl who can think…she can articulate…she can write.”

“That’s three up over most politicians already,” she said, before later posting the disclaimer that her praise for Dyana personally should not be construed as an endorsement of the DAP.

But hey, this column is supposed to be an endorsement of Zunar and his new book of cartoons, and I seem to have wandered somewhat off the point.

In the process taking over 1,000 words to try zapping the celaka, kangkung 1RM chickens and zombies of the BN regime, when Zunar can do it in just one of the brilliant pictures he draws. And thus I’m left wishing that I had the talent to take a leaf out of his book.

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