Regretfully, due to professional and other commitments down here in Sydney, my wife and daughter and I can’t make it balik kampong to Malaysia for the Lunar New Year of the Rat. But thank goodness we should be free to get Canberra come February 4 for the Loony New Year of the Riot.
Or, more accurately, for the (entirely peaceful) Climate-Change Rally for Climate that’s been called to coincide with the first sitting and of course bullshitting day of the New Year for Australia’s Federal Parliament.
For Australia’s feral Federal Parliament, in fact, considering that the majority of its members will be the liars, loons, goons and buffoons that comprised virtually the same feral government that we ended the old year with, and which has been mouthing an endless stream of mendacity and making making such a mess during the summer recess.
Not that any of us who are intending to rally against this grubby government are expecting to achieve the kind of miracle that Prime Minister Scott ‘ScoMo/scamMo/ScumMo’ Morrison claims to believe in, because he clearly only has faith in those that he can work or rather rig in his favour.
By way of, for example, his endless spins and blatant lies, plus the misleading Chinese-language how-to-vote posters that ‘magically’ appeared in support of two key government candidates in the May 2019 election that returned him to power, and that other notorious rort, the scandalous if not criminally corrupt mis-allocation of $100 million in vote-buying grants by his then minister for sport.
But so unshakable is Morrison’s allegedly Christian belief in his sacredly-conferred super powers that, despite having lately lost a good deal of his magic through his failure thus far to turn his own version of the Old-Testament burning-bush trick to his own account; and having thus far failed to help, let alone heal, more than a tiny fraction of those people that the Bible called ‘the halt and the lame’, and we currently more politically-correctly refer to as ‘the disabled’, by means of his allegedly supreme NDIS scheme, that he clearly still thinks he can walk on water.
Never mind that this is the very same rapidly-dwindling supply of water that Morrison and his coal-tion disciples are willfully mismanaging if not outright misappropriating for the benefit of big-money bottlers, agribusinesses and miners of coal, and also approving the pollution of in aquifers by permitting fracking for natural gas.
So I just can’t wait to get along to call for the symbolic political crucifixion of Morrison/Morriscon/Morriscum in just 10 days’ time, not only for his so falsely trumping himself up as Australia’s messiah, but for having so fraudulently achieved this ambition and then then proceeded to to make such an unholy mess of it.
As messiahs go, he’s not, to quote the deathless line delivered by the sadly recently-deceased Terry Jones in his classic role as the Holy Mother in ‘The Life of Brian’, just a very naughty boy.
He’s been, and continues to be, a criminally rorty boy on behalf of his cronies in every field from from fossil fuels to sporty clubs, and a repellently haughty boy in his attempts to pose as a man of the people despite his decidedly warty treatment of pensioners, the unemployed and other such citizens that he deems unworthy, if not a total waste of space.
And, of course, in his clearly fake efforts to pretend that he accepts the reality of man-made climate change, or to intend to do anything whatever to help slow this scourge, let alone put a stop to it, he’s been a very, very noughty as in nothing boy indeed.
In fact, in his determination to do nothing whatever to even attempt to attain Australia’s anthem-avowed goal of Advancing, let alone its doing so Fairly in any of this word’s multiple alternative senses, he’s managed by dint of his lying cant to miraculously turn a potentially can-do Canberra into his personal won’t and Can’tberra.
So I can’t bear to wait for another 10 days or so to get down to our nothing-doing and also suspiciously nazional-tending national capital to rally along with zillions of my fellow citizens in expressing our collective outrage at what a political plague-year that 2019 turned out to be.
And, of course, even more crucially, in light of this year’s even more disastrously ill-omened start, in voicing our demands for a Morrison-government-free and thus happier and infinitely more Australia-Advancing, albeit sadly belated new political year of 2020.