Perhaps in retribution for the dim view of the season that I expressed in ‘Easter escape’, the column I wrote on the subject for Malaysiakini and also posted here yesterday, fate has made a total bunny of me this Easter Sunday.
Having woken up far too early for my customary Sunday-morning coffee and chat with my friend and neighbor, Michael, I had the bright idea of doing a load of washing in expectation of impressing my wife with my housekeeping efforts on her return from her few days’ off in Tasmania.
But, boy, talk about getting egg on my face. Somebody had apparently booby-trapped one of the garments with a white facial tissue, and thus, despite all the cursing and shaking I subjected all the washed items to as I hung them out to dry, they look as though they’ve been befurred by a whole hutchfull of angora rabbits.
A result that threatened to totally spoil my day, until I eventually got to the café with Michael and saw in the paper there that the Kim Jong-Un regime had made an even more spectacular bunny of itself by firing a missile to demonstrate what a deadly danger it is to its neighbours and the US, only to have the thing explode seconds after it left the launch-pad.
And now that I’m back home from the café, I see that a Malaysiakini reader hiding his or her identity behind the pseudonym ‘Prudent’ has been so enraged by my criticisms of religion in general and Christianity particular in my ‘Easter escape’ column as to make a total bunny of him- or herself with the comment that ‘You are one very confused and deceived old man. If you have nothing good to write, please don’t. Malaysiakini should not allow the above article to pass muster. It is just an inane and insane rant against what Dean Johns is confused about the Christian faith. Malaysiakini, please do not allow such articles of negative value to the common good to pass your muster again!’
Of course I can’t be sure what religion Prudent represents, but if it’s one of the clutter of competing and conflicting sects all claiming to be the one ‘true’ form of the vast collection of illusions and delusions that calls itself Christianity, then I rest my case.
This is a typical example of an alleged Christian’s failure to adhere to the alleged advice of his or her alleged ‘saviour’ to charitably, indeed meekly respond to aggression by turning the other cheek.
But at least there’s a sign in there that criticism by us Crosstians, or in other words I and all my fellow former faithful who have become so cross at the unholy attitudes and antics with which clerics and congregations have double-crossed Christianity over the centuries as to abandon it in disgust, has had an improving effect.
For example, for the sin of casting doubt on Christianity in particular and religion in general, ‘Prudent’ proposes that I should be punished by being banned, whereas back in the good old days of Christianity he/she could easily have had me burned.
But save in more recently-invented ‘faiths’ like Islam, many of whose adherents still persist in killing its critics, apostates or opponents by stoning and sundry other methods, Christianity has been persuaded to abandon the death penalty for dissenters and disbelievers.
So enlightened has Christianity become, in fact, in the face of pressure from us Crosstians and other secularists, that the current head of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis, has, in his special message this Easter, called for his followers to feel ‘shame’ at both their own callous indifference to the horrendous sufferings of people of other faiths, or even no faiths, in all the wars and natural disasters around the world, and also at the scandalous degree of child sexual abuse committed by members of their clergy.
For all my rabbiting on about others who’ve managed to making jokes (yolks?) of themselves this Easter, however, be they utterly bad eggs like Kim Jong-Un or the merely scramble-brained like ‘Prudent’ so evidently is, I have to confess that I still don’t feel any better about having made such a bunny of myself earlier, laundrywise.
And even less funny is the fact that I’m still stuck with the task of somehow ridding a whole line-load of washing of about a billion bits of tissue within the next hour or so, so my wife won’t die laughing at the sight of the kind of housework that’s been happening while she’s been away having a happy, husband-free Easter.