Sorry about the repetition of the ass-embly theme here. I originally planned to come up with something entirely new and uniquely hilarious this week, but gave up all hopes of that when I saw Zunar’s latest series of cartoons.
His turning of the sarcastic suggestion to him by the inspector-general of police to stop lampooning the prime minister and instead ‘draw Donald Duck’ into depicting Najib as Donald Dedak’ was a stroke of genius that I can’t possibly hope to emulate.
So instead I have to concede defeat and console myself by repeating the rather obvious joke I made in last week’s column about how Umno had, for the umpteenth year in a row, made an ‘ass’ of itself in its recent annual general ‘assembly’.
In any event, by last Friday, when I made this point and gave examples of stupid statements and speeches by such personages as the prime minister, deputy prime minister and the head of Wanita Umno, the party apparently wasn’t finished with its asinine antics.
Because on top of all the previous idiocies came the claim by Federal Territories Umno delegate Rizuan Abd Hamid that ‘Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak has done Malaysia proud in the eyes of the Muslim world, which is why the Arabs donated money to him.’
Never mind that this ‘donation’ story itself has been comprehensively revealed as a total falsehood, Rizuan Abd Hamid’s ‘justification’ for this alleged largesse on the part of a ‘Saudi Arabian prince’ was entirely different from the motive that Umno has promoted previously.
Until now, as you’ll doubtless recall, the appearance of billions of ringgit in Najib’s personal bank accounts has been billed as a token of recognition of some mysterious services he had performed in opposition to Islamic State.
But now, according to Rizuan Abd Hamid, it was because ‘Malaysia is known in the eyes of the world as a leading promoter of the halal industry.’
‘Malaysia’s achievements in the area show how great the country is in the eyes of the world,’ he continued, before rhetorically asking ‘why?’ and responding to his own question with the deeply questionable answer ‘because it is led by Najib as prime Minister. Muslims around the world respect our prime minister.’
A statement that inevitably provokes the further question as to why on earth anybody, Muslim or otherwise, would respect Najib for his services to the halal industry when everything he and his criminal accomplices do in their misgovernment of Malaysia, and the lies they systematically tell in attempts to conceal their corruptions and multitudinous other crimes, is so utterly and hopelessly haram.
The answer to this burning question, it turns out, according to what seemed to me the most laughable of all asinine speeches to the recent Umno general ass-embly, by Terengganu delegate and Setiu Umno Youth chief Mohd Iskandar Jaafar, is that it is all the fault of the non-Muslim politicians.
‘Non-Muslim opposition members are against the private member’s bill to amend the Syariah Courts (Criminal Jurisdiction) Act 1965 because they want the country’s Muslims to continue committing sins,’ he reportedly declared.
In support of this ludicrous proposition he claimed, according to Malaysiakini, that light punishments currently meted-out under the Act are among the reasons why various social ills, including massive numbers of illegitimate births, are ‘rampant’ among Malay youth.
‘Non-Muslim opposition members reject the upgrade of the punishments as they see an opportunity,’ he raved on. ‘They see that Malays should be left to continue living in sin (and thus) the opposition, consequently would then take over the country’s administration.’
This is such a massive load of nonsense that it is tempting to entirely ignore rather than dignify with a response.
But I can’t resist the comment that, rather than planning more severe punishments for ‘rampant’ Muslim youth, Muslim parents, politicians and others would be far better advised to set these young people a far better example.
Like, for instance, at the family level, serving as role models for youth as regards respect for oneself and others rather than submitting them, as far too many parents of all religions are hypocritically guilty of doing, to ignorance, neglect or physical, psychological and sexual abuse.
And as for politicians, and most especially Muslim ones, rather than legislating for sterner punishments for youthful and other small-fry offenders against Islamic and wider societal values, what about demonstrating some honesty, sincerity and integrity for a change?
Instead of keeping on presenting them with the obscene spectacle of unbridled lust for power and plunder, and utter contempt for the laws of the land as well as the spirit and tenets of Islam, as Umno and its accomplices have done for the past half-century or so in their incalculably harmful haram misrule of Malaysia.
Or, to put this proposal another way, it’s way past time that Muslim politicians invested their time and energy in figuring-out how many strokes of the rotan and other penalties they and their bleeding leaders are due for systematically perverting Malaysia’s constitution and civil institutions, stealing countless billions in publicly-owned funds and natural resources, and ordering the killing of those like Altantuya Shaariibuu and Teoh Beng Hock who happen to get in their road.